How the Orochimaru stole Christmas!
by Leader of Talking Palm Trees
Summary: I know it's far from the holidays but I wanted to write this! A parody of How the grinch stole christmas but with our favorate snake man, so enjoy
1. Chapter 1

**HOW THE OROCHIMARU STOLE CHRISTMAS**

**Cast:**

**The Grinch: Orochimaru**

**Max: Kabuto**

**Cindy Lou: Hinata**

**Narrator: (you will find out soon enough!)**

**Who's: Everyone else**

**Chapter One: The Orochimaru **

"Hello my fellow's come hear my tale, about ninja who's of Konoha and one evil snakey male. I am your narrator to tell you the fate, about this ninja holiday that's really great"! 

"It was Konoha's favorite time of the year, not football season while drinking beer, not Easter, oh no, it wasn't that funny, the time when the kids tied up the bunny, and definitely not Halloween, that gives me a scare, when that stupid Naruto Uzumaki put a spider in my hair, it's **CHRISTMAS**, when it really, really snows and all those presents, tied up with bows".

"All the ninja down in Konoha liked Christmas a lot, The Orochimaru, who lived just north of Konoha, did not"

Orochimaru was leaning on the side of his snow-covered lair's entrance, grumpily picking his teeth.

"The Orochimaru hated Christmas the whole Christmas season, hey, even I don't know the stupid reason".

"Perhaps, its because his head's not screwed on just right", the Narrator said questionably.

Suddenly Orochimaru snapped his head to the sky where the Narrators voice came from, "Hey, just because I can stretch my neck in all directions doesn't mean you can say that about me", he yelled!

"Maybe its his large overbite", he continued as if the angry snake man didn't say anything.

"It's not my fault I have fangs", Orochimaru replied bearing his sharp teeth!

"But I think most of all it's because his heart is 3 times too small", he chuckled

"O.k., I think your enjoying this aren't you", Orochimaru hissed!

"Yes, I love this power, Narration is the job of the hour, and also start to rhyme, the people are waiting, we don't have the time", he replayed to our shocked snake friend.

"Fine, but I don't like to rhyme", Orochimaru rhymed.

"But for whatever reason, his buckteeth to his neck, he stood there on Christmas Eve, becoming a nervous wreak"!

"Staring down from this lair with a sour snakey frown at the warm lighted windows below in the town, for he knew the those ninja were preparing for Christmas"

Suddenly Kabuto happily bound out of the lair a smile across his face, "Oh how I love Christmas, it's the best time of the year", Orochimaru angrily grabbed him by his ear.

"There hanging there scroll pouches", he snarled with a sneer.

"Tomorrow is Christmas, it's practically here", he continued holding Kabuto inches from his white face!

"He growled with his snake fingers nervously drumming", the Narrator said as Orochimaru drummed his fingers on Kabuto's head.

"I must stop Christmas from coming"!

"Or tomorrow I know, all those ninja boy's and girl's will wake bright and early and rush for their toy and then…all the noise noise noise noise, there one thing I hate, all the NOISE NOISE NOISE NOISE, and their shriek, squeaks and squeals racing round on their wheels, with new shuriken holsters tied on to their heel's, and then they'll sit down for a feast, and they'll feast, and they'll feast, and they'll feast feast feast feast, they'll feast on ninja pudding, rare Raman glazed roast beast, rare roast beast is a feast I can't stand in the least", he yelled at Kabuto!

"And then they'll do something I hate most of all, all the ninja down in Konoha the tall and the small, with Christmas bells ringing, they'll stand hand in hand, then those ninja's will start singing, and they'll sing, and they'll sing sing sing **SING**"!

"And the more the Orochimaru hear their Christmas sing, the more he though", the Narrator said

"I must stop this whole thing, for 55 years I've put up with this now, I must stop Christmas from coming, but how", Orochimaru pondered?

He let go of Kabuto as he leaned on the side of the lair, suddenly some snow from the roof slide off and covered Kabuto.

"Gah, Kabuto get out of that pile", Orochimaru said as he lifted Kabuto out of the snow but then cracked a smile.

Kabuto face had snow on it that made him look like the fat man we all know so much about.

"Then he got an idea, an awful idea, the Orochimaru got a wonderful awful idea.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: His idea**

"I know just what to do", the snake man laughed in his extending throat. "I'll make a quick Santy Clause hat and a coat", he continued as he slithered into his lair.

"Great, now he's got an evil plan, I will never understand that crazy man", Kabuto sighed.

Orochimaru began taking down his red curtain and started cutting to pieces.

He chuckled and clucked, "what a great snakey trick, with this coat and this hat I'll look just like Saint Nick"!

"Now viewers, I'd like to take the time, to sing you a song, don't worry its not that long", the Narrator said.

Suddenly a jazzy tune started.

_You're a mean one, Orochimaru_

_You really are a heel_

_You're as cuddly as a cactus, and as charming as an eel_

_Orochimaru You're a bad banana with a, greasy black peel_

_You're a monster, Orochimaru_

_He yelled, "My heart's and empty hole" _

_Ahem, your brain is full of spiders you have garlic in your sole_

_Orochimaru_

_I wouldn't touch you with a 39- and- a- half-foot pole!_

The tune ended and Orochimaru had finished his suit.

"Now all I need is a reindeer", he said as he looked around.

"But since reindeer were scarce there were none to be found, but did that stop Orochimaru, **hah**, as he said".

"If I can't find a reindeer", Orochimaru said as he looked at poor Kabuto and smiled, "I'll make one instead"!

Kabuto quickly ran under Orochimaru's cushy black bed, "help", he whimpered with a yelp.

Orochimaru peered up to see his mounted elk on the wall with _**large heavy horns**_.

"So he took poor Kabuto and took some black thread and tied one of the horn's on top of his head", the Narrator said.

Slowly Kabuto started to tilt forward from the weight of the horn until he hit the wooden floor, "I think you broke my spine", he whimpered, "Stop fooling around this isn't the time", Orochimaru replied!

"Then he loaded some bag's on his ramshackle sleigh for it was time to go, so he whistled for Kabuto", the Narrator rhymed.

"Can't I just stay behind I'm really tired", Kabuto wined.

Orochimaru suddenly took a large kettle of coffee and slugged it down, "then drink some coffee it will make you wired", he spastically said as he grabbed Kabuto and threw him in front of the sled.

He took a strong rope and looped it around Kabuto's neck.

Then he pulled out his whip and yelled, "Giddyap" and whipped Kabuto as he yelped and started franticly pulling the large sleigh over the cliff of the summit of his lair (which is on top of a snowy mountain).

"Then the sleigh started down to the who's all a-snooze in there town", the Narrator said


End file.
